The Little Girl's Forest

   Looking out from her bedroom window Leandra could always see the forest, looming in the distance, another world untouched by cement and brick. For a younger, more childish Leandra it had been a source of endless imaginative stories and characters; she used to envision faeries dancing in the leaves, wearing dresses sewn from spider silk with dew drop embellishments. Unicorns would hide shyly amongst the trunks, their cover exposed when sunbeams broke through the foliage and flashed against their clean white fur. Leandra even imagined an ogre making his home there; ugly, smelly and 10ft tall, but a kind and gentle soul who was actually a great cook.

   Now that she was older she knew it was nonsense to think of such fantasies as reality. The faeries were actually spiders, her unicorns everyday deer, the ogre quite possibly a bear. Still, the forest presented an amusement. It was such a curiosity to her, she a city-bred girl whose outside experience amounted to berry picking at the local farms with a favourite aunt. Despite the ever consuming mass of the city, this black forest outside her window had remained in place, never changing, a constant view.

   Home from university, sick with an imaginary flu that conveniently excused her from a midterm biology test, Leandra had found herself bored with the usual digestion of television and video games. From the corner of her eye she saw the forest. It simply sat on the horizon as always. There was nothing special or inviting about it today. Yet Leandra grabbed her sweater and sneakers anyway. The porch door slammed behind her, as if bidding goodbye, good luck, be safe.

   It was roughly noon when she left. It was not a very thrilling or long walk. Leandra simply crossed the large empty lots that separated her house and the tree line. The area had been cleared away years ago for a housing development project that never took off. Up close, the forest was almost a disappointment. Rather than giant trees with trunks so big you couldn’t wrap your arms around them, the bush was made up of scraggly anorexic birch and thinned out shrubs. Leandra had half a mind to walk away. The forest of her childhood was nothing more than sticks. But she went in anyway, and looking back at the situation now she couldn’t say why.

   The bush was thicker than she had guessed once she began to walk in; here the forest she envisioned was beginning to pop up amongst the sad looking ferns, pulling her deeper in. She was mesmerized. Little birch trees fattened into giant pines and towering elms, creating a thick canopy that cast a cool shadow over the forest floor. Occasionally she got tangled in the thick underbrush that was almost as tall as her. Insects whizzed around her, little critters scampered from under her feet. The thick scent of wood & sap filled her nostrils. On the path was a group of rocks that resembled a lion. Leandra had never been in something so natural before. It was intoxicating. The absence of faeries & ogres was a blessing.

   Tripping over a hidden root, Leandra fell to the forest ground. When she picked herself up she happened to glance at her watch; it was almost supper time! It felt like she had only been here for a few minutes, not hours. As if to solidify the time her tummy rumbled. Mother would have the soup ready on the table soon. Leandra began to scurry back home.

   The shadows were darkening and the air becoming crisper. Leandra shoved aside branch and leaf, struggling to remember the way she had come in. What had been so new and amazing only a short while ago was now eerily familiar; all the trees looked alike, every rock she had passed before. The forest was only getting darker. Where did the tree line end?! The buzzing of the insects was drowned out by her quickening heart beat. Where was her damned house?! Leandra began to run, desperately pulling away from the trees that seemed to grab at her with newly formed claws. She cried out when her hair became entangled in some branches. Struggling and pulling she freed herself. She continued to run through the trees in a panic to get home.

   Again, she tripped. Landing face first into a pile of mud, Leandra broke out in huge wet sobs. Sitting up right she wiped away the mud and tears with the sleeve of her pink sweater. It was almost night now. Between the mud, tears and darkness Leandra could hardly see. It was getting cold too. She shivered, and began to cry again.

   “Hush hush,”

   The little voice from behind made Leandra stop in fright. Nervously she turned her head; leaning against a tree was a strange looking man. He was skinny and dressed in a brightly coloured yellow & blue motley leotard. Wearing a plain white opera mask, his face was obscured. He had his finger to his bright pink lips.

   "Good girl,” he said. Leandra wiped at her eyes. The man did not disappear with her tears. He didn’t make a move to approach or harm her. Simply he stayed in place against the tree, finger pressed against lips.

   “Who are you?” whispered Leandra.

   “I’m not sure,” was the response. “Who am I?” Leandra swore he winked underneath the mask.

   “I don’t know,”

   “Neither do I,” he said with a laugh. Cautiously she stood. He still had not moved. What a strange man, but he could possibly help her. She was desperate to get out of the woods.

   “I’m lost,”

   “That’s apparent!”

   “Can you tell me how to get out of here?”

   “No,” he said it so kindly and without a trace of ill wishing, like he was speaking to a child. Leandra felt like she had been slapped stupid, unable to say anything. The man cocked his head to the side and smiled.

   “You can get out on your own,” he said in a friendly tone. That got her speaking again.

   “I’ve been trying! I can’t!” Leandra felt the tears begin to bubble up.

   “Hush hush! Yes, you can! Just keep going!” and then he melted into the tree. His finger never left his pink lips. Leandra rushed towards the spot he had been and grabbed at the bark as if to try and pull him out.

   “Come back! Come back! Help me!” she screamed while clawing at the wood. It was no use. The Motley Man would not materialize for her. Giving up, Leandra kicked the tree a final time in anger, then began stomping through the trees once more. It was just a combination of wits and hunger that she had seen, Leandra decided after a time. There surely was no man in a mask disappearing into trees. Nonsense!

   Ruminating over the stranger did nothing to change the fact that she was lost in the woods at night. Leandra thought about how worried her family must be. They would be out looking for her, surely; but who would think to check the woods? Leandra had never shown an interest in exploring them before. No one would come looking for her here. The thought made her want to cry again. She bumped her nose against a thick tree. The tree grunted.

   “What a rude woman!”

   And suddenly Leandra was hoisted into the air, grabbed around the waist by a large grey hand. A big yellow eye, moon-like against the dark grey skin of the Cyclop’s head, stared down at her.

   “Ex-excuse me?!” Leandra exclaimed in surprise. When the Cyclopds blinked it was like the whole moon in the night sky had disappeared for a slight moment in time.

   “Excuse you is right! You need to look where you are walking!” He didn’t seem angry, mostly just annoyed. Leandra apologized. This pleased the Cyclops and he gently put her back down on the ground. He even dusted her off. She stood there shaking.

   “Good girl,” he said with a chuckle. “I didn’t mean to frighten you,”

   “Y-you didn’t,” Leandra lied. To be honest she wasn’t sure what had frightened her; that she had been grabbed into the air or that she was imagining a conversation with a Cyclops.

   “You’re lost,” he stated. Leandra nodded almost shyly.

   “Do you know the way out of this forest?” she dared to ask.

   “No, I don’t. Only you do,” The same message as the Motley Man.

   “I’m sorry, but I really don’t know how to get out of here,”

   “You just need to keep walking. Keep your eyes open. You’ll find the path on your own,” and just like that the Cyclops turned into a tree. His massive eye became the moon, so full and bright in the night sky. Leandra slumped down in disbelief that twice now she had been denied help from her hallucinations. Absently she wondered if she was turning schizophrenic, like her cousin Jody.

   “I’m insane,” she mumbled to the forest. A wind jostled the branches of the trees in a soft response. Getting back up again, Leandra continued her night time walk.

   It felt like she was walking forever in endless circles. The trees refused to thin out, her house did not blink back into existence. The night seemed to be reaching its darkest point, as Leandra could now only see when the canopy of the trees thinned out enough for moonlight to break through. The patches of light made a sort of path that Leandra was able to follow; the shadowy pockets where no light penetrated were too sinister for her to step into. Numbly she walked along. She didn’t want to think about what was happening. If she followed the moonlight, she hoped she would find her way out eventually.

   The patches of moonlight began to thin out, occurring less frequently and in a smaller radius. Finally Leandra came to a point where ahead of her there was no break in the canopy. Beyond the shelter of light the forest was pure black. When she turned around to try and find the path she had followed it had disappeared. Leandra was standing all alone in a single beam of moonlight, pure black surrounding her on every side. Now what?

   Hesitantly, Leandra reached a hand out into the dark. As the blackness consumed her hand it didn’t feel any different. Then, a little luminous green bulb appeared at the ends of her fingertips. The glow it emitted was warm and soothing. More little bulbs appeared in the darkness ahead of her, floating gently in the night. There seemed to be a pattern to the way the lights moved, almost as if they were dancing in unison to a beat Leandra couldn’t hear. They were very pretty, and helped to soothe her fright.

   When the bulbs began to slow in their movements and blink out one by one, Leandra cried out for them to stay. One of the bulbs floated towards her face, growing in size. Surprised, Leandra saw it wasn’t a ball of light, but a little faerie. Her wings were a translucent soft green, with little specks of powder settling into the night sky every time she beat them. The faerie had a tiny but gorgeous face, and long flowing brown hair that fell in gentle curls all the way down her back. Her little dress was white and see-through, with crystal embellishments cleverly placed to hide her near nakedness.

    “The music is gone, there’s no reason for us to stay,” said the Faerie sharply.

    “I never heard any music,” Leandra admitted. The Faerie tossed her head in annoyance. Her curls bounced around in the moonlight.

    “Well of course you didn’t! Only a faerie can hear faerie violins!”

    “I’m sorry to bother you, but I didn’t want to be alone,”

    This made the Faerie snort. Leandra found her to be a very rude little thing. The other faerie lights were blinking out one by one.

   “One is always alone no matter how much company one keeps,” stated the Faerie. Leandra was confused by her talk.

    “I’m sorry, but that doesn’t-”

   “Silly human girls never understand anything! All looks and no brain says I! Surely you can comprehend the fact that, despite being surrounded by others, you still feel alone from time to time,”

    “Well yes, I suppose-“

    “So no matter how much company you keep you are always alone. What matters is that you let yourself feel that loneliness. Why, you could disappear right now and I wouldn’t feel lonely at all, because I have accepted that I am alone in the world. Knowing this fact I can stand up on my own and never fear being lonely. I am all alone as a unique and charming Faerie!” and the Faerie finished her snarky speech with a little bow. Leandra didn’t find her all that charming, but she certainly was unique.

   “Alright, then disappear. Can you at least tell me how to get out of the forest before you go?”

    The Faerie floated away from her face, changing back into the illusionary ball of light with the distance. Into the dark she floated. Leandra squinted and thought she saw her point ahead.

   “You know the way,” the same cryptic message the Motley Man & Cyclops had given her. Angered, Leandra’s hand flew into the darkness and grabbed the little Faerie. Squealing the Faerie beat helplessly at Leandra’s hand, and even tried to bite her, but it was only an itch.

    “No, no, no! For the last time I don’t know the way! Otherwise I wouldn’t be lost!”

   The Faerie screamed and cried and hit but Leandra refused to let her go.

   “Tell me!”

   “You know the way! You just don’t realize it yet! The path is only dark because you haven’t explored there. Just keep going, it will make more sense the more you uncover,” cried the Faerie. She wasn’t as pretty now, sobbing in her trap. Leandra opened her hand and the Faerie flew away, cursing stupid human girls. Before blinking out she made a rude gesture. Leandra had to laugh at spiteful, silly little thing. She admitted though, that she didn’t feel quite so lonely now.

   Deciding to trust the Faerie, despite how rude and mean she was, Leandra stepped out of the safety of the moonlight. She was surprised to find that the darkness wasn’t as bad as she had thought; she could see quite well, almost like the Faerie had magically bestowed night vision on her. This part of the forest looked new to Leandra. The trees were bent at angles she had never seen, and there were pretty blue flowers she didn’t remember passing before. Leandra pushed on, taking the darker path, behind her a trail of light. The more she walked, the brighter everything became, and day began to push its way through the forest leaves.

   She uncovered more of the forest, aware of which parts she had already explored with clarity now. Leandra was beginning to grasp how the woods twisted and turned and where every tree stood in relation to one another. The pathway home had yet to click in her mind yet. A patch of berries was growing in a tangle of shrubbery; Leandra paused to sample a few.

   “Weren’t you taught to never put strange things in your mouth?”

   The voice was familiar. Leandra was not surprised to see the Motley Man behind her. He had swapped the yellow & blue for a pattern of green & orange. His opera mask was black now with gold painted around the eyes. The pink lips had been traded for a blood red hue. Like before he was leaning against a tree, his finger still on his lips.

   “Hello again,” Leandra greeted him. He nodded.

   “Hello again! Did you find the way yet?” he was smiling softly.

   “No, but I think I’ll find it eventually. I just need to keep looking. The forest isn’t as confusing now,”

   The Motley Man clapped his hands, the first time he had ever physically moved his entire body in front of her. He jumped in the air and floated towards Leandra.

   “Wonderful! See, you just need to think, and look! Life is just one big puzzle,”

   They were face to face now. Up close she saw that the little skin that was visible was smooth and clear and young. He had a very nice smile, and the heavy perfume he wore was pleasant and somewhat arousing. Being near him made her feel like she was being touched by a lover. Leandra wondered what he looked like under the mask.

   “Who am I?” he asked suddenly. Leandra was taken aback by the question.

   “I don’t know,”

   The smile turned to a frown. The Motley Man began to float away.

   “Did you kill the dragon?”

   “Did I kill the what?”

   And he was gone again, melting into the tree once more. Leandra was put off by his sudden appearances and abrupt exits. He had mentioned a dragon; there was a dragon here? That didn’t seem strange to her. Everything else in the forest was fantasy, so for there to be a dragon hiding here was not far fetched.

   She came across the dragon in little time. It was resting on the lion rock she had passed when she first entered the forest, bathing in the sunlight. The beast was fearsome; large enough to swallow a man in one gulp, scales a dark shade of purple, with black spikes stamped across its back in a random pattern. Upon her approach the dragon lazily opened one golden eye to stare at Leandra. When it yawned, small licks of flame escaped its maw.

   “Right, you’re here. Took you long enough,” the Dragon said, stretching out and yawning once more. Surrounding its perch were bones of every size and shape. Leandra took a step back from the creature. It chuckled and climbed off the rocks. Bones crunched and snapped under clawed toes.

   “Before we begin, let me lay down the rules of engagement,”

   With a wave of a massive claw the Dragon summoned three items before Leandra: a beautiful silver sword with jewels encrusted on the hilt, a massive shield twice her size, and a standard house size fire extinguisher.

   “Rule 1: you may not use any of these items,” and the Dragon indicated the three things that had appeared between them.

   “Rule 2: you may not run away, you must stand still. Shaking and a bit of wiggling is okay, but you’re feet must be firmly planted on the ground at all times,”

   “Rule 3: no screaming! The louder you scream the bigger my headache after. Just take it like a good girl and be quiet, alright?” and the Dragon chuckled and blew a puff of smoke into Leandra’s face.

   “Do you accept the rules of engagement?” it asked. Coughing violently Leandra shook her head in disagreement.

   “Those rules are unfair! I’d have no chance to win against you!” she managed between coughs. The Dragon gave her a toothy grin.

   “But of course you can’t win! That’s the whole point of the rules, so I can stomp all over you and crush your little body into broken bits without any resistance. Really, the Faerie was quite right, all looks and no brain with this one!”

   The Dragon threw its head back into the air and let out a hearty deep laugh. Leandra felt her fear begin to dissolve into anger; the Dragon was not fair at all! He had the advantage of size and fire. She was just a little ant compared to him. The Dragon finished his laugh and stomped a massive foot down on the ground; the tremor cause Leandra to fall over. The Dragon laughed again and began to bat at her, knocking her about and shaking her this way and that. Every time she got up he pushed her back down.

   “Accept! Accept! I can only tease you for so long!”

   Leandra had enough. She rolled away from the Dragon and stormed towards the sword. The Dragon’s laugh was cut short by her action; a glimmer of fear betrayed his eye.

   “Enough! I reject your rules, you stupid beast!” she shouted. With her right hand she grabbed the sword, with her left she picked up the shield. Despite the heavy appearances both felt feather light in her hands.

   “What... what are you doing girl?! Put those down, you are breaking the rules!” roared the Dragon. He took a step back from her, and she took a step forward. The sword glittered in the light, pretty but deadly.

   “Quiet! You’ve tormented me long enough. Now we play by my rules,” and she charged towards him, sword raised. The Dragon screamed and flew up into the air to escape her. Its massive body blocked out the light like an eclipse. There was a feral panic in its expression.

   “NO! THIS IS NOT HOW WE PLAY THE GAME!” he roared, and began to breathe fire all over Leandra. Ducking behind the shield the flames bounced harmlessly away. She threw down the sword and lunged towards the extinguisher, firing it at the Dragon’s maw. The Dragon screamed in rage as his flames fizzled into nothing.

   But a life of sunbathing and bossing around lost travellers for an easy meal had made the Dragon fat and lazy. This one act of flying and fire breathing was all he could muster. The Dragon slumped onto the ground wheezing and panting.

   “Not... fair!” he moaned between gasps. Leandra picked up her sword again and slowly approached the Dragon. His look was pure fear now.

   “I... am the authority! ... of this... forest!”

   “I don’t care,” she hissed through her teeth. “You brought this upon yourself, with your silly rules and bloated way of living!” and then Leandra plunged the sword into the Dragon’s skull. It slid in like butter, and the Dragon made a little sigh as it died.

   The Motley Man appeared then. He emerged from the trunk of a giant pine tree, clapping wildly and cheering. His appearance was a mix of the two looks, one side yellow & blue, the other orange & green.

   “Oh! Oh oh oh oh!” he flew towards Leandra and scooped her up. Leandra couldn’t help but laugh as he spun her around in circles in the air.

   “Wonderful! Just wonderful! No one else has dared to challenge the Dragon without rules!” cheered the Motley Man.

   “They were unjust rules, no one could even stand a chance with them in place,” Leandra responded. The Motley Man frowned and nodded sadly.

   “Yes indeed, yet others followed them anyway. That is often the case, hm?” and the smile returned to his face and he spun her in more circles.

   “Were you afraid?” he asked.

   “A little bit. But I was the only one who could stop him,”

   “You were all alone!” cried the Motley Man.

   “No, I had myself. That was the only person I needed,”

   He laughed and hugged her tightly. Leandra didn’t mind, he was more a friend than a stranger now. The Motley Man smelled nice as ever, and he made her feel all warm and soft. Daringly, she grabbed his face and kissed him on his half pink half red lips. The Motley Man gave her a shocked look.

   “How bold! And you don’t even know who I am!” he laughed.

   “Yes, I do,”

   The Motley Man allowed Leandra to remove his mask. He was ugly. He was beautiful. He was old and young. He was female yet male. He was every person she ever loved. He was every person she ever hated. Leandra was drunk on his shifting appearance.

   “You’re a person. Just like me,”

   He gave her a cheeky grin. They kissed once more, and then the Motley Man turned to mist and drifted away.

   Leandra knew it was time to leave now. The corpse of the Dragon had shifted into a beautiful bed of flowers, blood red in colour, marking the path she would follow to leave the forest. The flowers weren’t needed, Leandra recognized the way now. She remembered strolling out of the woods, the trees beginning to thin out, and once as stepped out into the empty lot everything went dark.

   A ray of sun snuck through the little rip in the curtain at just the right angle to beam right into Leandra’s face. Wincing, she slowly opened her eyes. She was back home in her bedroom, with the cherry coloured walls and pastel coloured bedspread. Someone had put a cool cloth on her forehead and removed her filthy clothes. Leandra sat up and looked out the window. The forest was still there.

   “Leandra?” Her little mother poked her head in the doorway, a soft smile on her face.

   “Good morning dear. How are you feeling? I had to change you out of those muddy rags. I’m sorry for the indecency,” Leandra slowly nodded and took the cloth from her head. Her mother sat down on the edge of the bed.

   “I was in the forest...”

   “Yes, and what were you doing there?! Your father and I were worried sick all night! We found you this morning on the lots, running a high fever and babbling nonsense about love, anarchy and self awareness,” Leandra’s mother was very stern, talking in a tone she hadn’t used with her daughter since childhood. Leandra winced at the rebuttal and her mother sighed. She kissed her grown daughter on the top of the head and left the room. Leandra looked back to the forest outside her window and smiled.

   The next day construction trucks moved on to the lots. Apparently the plans for the housing development had finally gone through. The crews were to begin building right away to ensure the homes were done before winter rolled in. Every day Leandra watched as, little by little, the framework of home began to obscure the view of the forest from her window. Within several weeks the forest disappeared completely, hidden behind the perfect little homes of a new suburban neighbourhood.

   The forest for little dreaming girls and growing young women would always be there in the background, regardless of the city in the fore light. Leandra didn’t need to go looking to know this.